When will my dreams come true....
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Waiting For that Moment...

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[25 Jul 2006|02:12pm]
[ mood | hot ]

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
'Cos even when I fall asleep, you stay with me,
You stay with me.

Stuck inside a broken frame,
Watching as seasons change,
Hoping time will finally set me free,
Suddenly, you're standing there,
A crowded street, a lonely stare,
A thousand miles of traffic in between.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
From the moment that I leave, you stay with me,
You stay with me.

Every letter that you wrote stays with me,
And every promise that I broke, stays with me,
And everything that's left inside, stays with me,
It stays with me.

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

Feel the Love

76% Virgin [19 Jan 2006|10:39pm]
Minus 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your %. [ start with 100%]

1.Smoked.

2.Drank alcohol.

3.Cried when someone died.

4.Been drunk.

5.Had sex.

6.Been to a concert.

7.Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.

8.Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.

9.Been verbally sexually harassed.

10.Verbally sexually harassed somebody.

11.Felt someone up and/or been felt up.

12.Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.

13.Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.

14.Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.

15.Been to prom.

16.Cried at school.

17.Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.

18.Went streaking.

19.Given a lap dance.

20.Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

21.Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.

22.Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.

23.Kissed a stranger.

24.Hugged a stranger.

25.Went scuba diving.

26.Driven a car.

27.Gotten an xray.

28.Hit by a car.

29.Had a party.

30.Done drugs.

31.Played strip poker.

32.Got paid to strip for someone.

33.Ran away from home.

34.Broken a bone.

35.Eaten sushi.

36.Bought porn.

37.Watched porn.

38.Made porn.

39.Had a crush on someone of the same sex.

40.Been in love.

41.Frenched kissed.

42.Laughed so hard you cried.

43.Cried yourself to sleep.

44.Laughed yourself to sleep.

45.Stabbed yourself.

46.Shot a gun.

47.Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.

48.Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.

49.Been online for 9 consecutive hours.

50.Watched an animal die.

51.Watched a person die.

52.Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.

53.Pranked somebody.

54.Put somebody in the hospital.

55.Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.

56.Kissed somebody of the same sex.

57.Dressed punk.

58.Dressed goth.

59.Dressed preppy.

60.Been to a motocross race.

61.Avoided somebody.

62.Been stalked.

63.Stalked someone.

64.Met a celebrity.

65.Played an instrument.

66.Ridden a horse.

67.Cut yourself.

68.Bungee jumped.

69.Ding dong ditched somebody.

70.Been to a wild party.

71.Got caught stealing something.

72.Kicked a guy in the balls.

73.Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.

74.Went out with your friend's crush.

75.Got arrested.

76.Been pregnant.

77.Babysat.

78.Been to another country.

79.Started your house on fire.

80.Had an encounter with a ghost.

81.Donated your hair to cancer patients.

82.Been asked out by someone that you never though you'd to be asked out by.

83.Cried over a member of the opposite sex.

84.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.

85.Sat on your ass all day.

86.Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.

87.Had a job.

88.Gotten cut from a sports team.

89.Been called a whore.

90.Danced like a whore.

91.Been mistaken for a celebrity.

92.Been in a car accident.

93.Been told you have beautiful eyes.

94.Been told you have beautiful hair.

95.Raped somebody.

96.Danced in the rain.

97.Been rejected.

98.Walked out of a restaurant without paying.

99.Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.

100.Been raped.
Feel the Love

This is life... [10 Jan 2006|10:24pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

Pictures of my life
Everything captured
Every moment, every angle, everyone
Where I am both the photographer and the poser
Every sorrow, every laugh
Every kiss, every hurt
Censored to the public
Seen by my soulmates
Captured by my hand
Poised by my naked soul
For even the film
Cannot capture my true form
My True Existence....

Feel the Love

[26 Dec 2005|10:57am]
[ mood | blah ]

So yeah its been a while since I've done a real update but what can I say I'm a pretty busy person...

Anyways I'm done with college for a month we are on a break and i'm that we are because I'm completely stressed out and I didn't know how much more I could have taken of it plus things went on that royally pissed me off and its something that I can't change which sucks. So I go back Jan. 22nd or something like that. I'm only taking 3 classes and I have an internship I have to do. How fun is that right? lol Well its gonna be fun because there isn't going to be that many classes and not to much homework :)! So yeah enough with school.

So I am going out with this amazing guy. He's so sweet to me and protects me with all that he can. He doesn't want to see anything happen to be so he tries to make sure that he watches over me with his love :)! I never really thought that I would feel this way about someone but he's different. He makes me feel weak to my knees when I see him and every time he kisses me he makes me fall head over heals for him again. There's something about him that I can't get over. He's all that I want and need. He's simply amazing and there's nothing I would do to give him up. Plus the great thing about him is he loves me and never wants to let go of me. WE LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER TOO!

So yeah yesterday was christmas and it really wasnt that great. I hate having a christmas and you don't get anything but you have to go visit your family anyways and they are all bragging about what they got and it just makes you feel so bad. I hated that yesterday. I didn't belong there but my dad made me stay. It sucks that everyone else in the family can afford to buy all these gifts my dad can't and it sucks that I can't get anything. I felt so out of place and I didn't think I was going to but I did. Everyone kept asking what I got for christmas and I had to keep telling them nothing and they were like oh and then was like look what I got or oh I wanna tell you what i got. Talk about making a person feel bad. :(

So yeah life has been ok I guess I mean I got a boyfriend now and school is done but I'm not as happy as I should be. Maybe because I can't spend my break with my friends or because I have to work alot or because my chest pains are still there. I guess I'm just gonna make the best of it and hope for the better!

Well thats it for this update. I'm sure i'll update soon..maybe...I don't know...Until the next entry ta ta for now!

Feel the Love

[09 Dec 2005|05:26pm]
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..






2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.






3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.



!

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.






5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.






6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.






! 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.






8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.





9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.






10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.






11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.






12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.






13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.






REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Feel the Love

Updating because I feel i have to.... [31 Oct 2005|04:09pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

So many things in my life haven't been going right and I figured that instead of actually holding it all in i would rant in here....

As I sit here I'm finding myself to become lost into this so called world I live in. This world has become so confusing and unfamiliar that i just don't see to understand how i have gotten to this point. I just don't seem to understan why my happiness has slipped awat from under me and why i just can't seem to grab hold of it and hang out to it. It seems asthough i'm having an outter body experience. I know that its me but for some reason i can't seem to find myself if that makes any sense at all. I really don't know how I had gotten to this point. Okay so many I'm overreacting at the fact that i don't know what is going on with me, i'm sure I do have a grasp on the concept of why I'm feeling the way I am. So many things happened in the past few weeks that seem to keep pulling me further and further away from who I am. I feel each second of the day is only causing me to become more confused and lost. I can't handle the fact that no matter how hard i try to be the person I am that I can't just seem to get to that exact person. I feel as though that the people surrounding me will never understand who i am. They would rather ignore who i am and not care for me and push me away rather than noticing I'm not a bad person at all. I'm upset at the fact that I can't just seem to make people happy and make people realize that i'm not this evil insane person they are making me out to be. I want to go a day with out negative comments being made towards me and I want to go a day without someone breaking my heart. I don't seem to get the concept of why i'm the only always being hurt and the one who is crying and the one who is always getting thrown to the curb. So ok maybe I'm not the greatest person in the world but what I do know is that I didnt' do anything to deserve any of the hurtful things that were done to me.
I'm at a point in my life where everything doesn't seem like its worth it anymore. It just seems like i'm trying to hard and that I'm really only trying for nothing. I feel as though like I want to hold on put there is nothing to hold on to. Everyday I'm becoming more and more depressed with everything that is going on. I'm becoming more and more emotional which makes me inturn because sensitive to everything that happens to me. I cry more than I smile and unfortunately it shouldn't be that way at all because I can't seem to steer my self away from it. There are points in my life where i just want to throw everything a way by just ending my life. I know its wrong but I know I would never go through with it. I can keep syaing it over and over again but I know in the end that I'd be to afraid and that I would never go through with it. But I do feel as though there is nothing else I can do. There really isn't anybody to talk to. I feel as though i'm fighting this problem by myself and I know thatI can't do it on my own but i know I won't get the support and advice that I need or even want.
I really just want to be happy and for everything to go back to when i knew i was happy. It a point where nothing really seemed to bother me. I had friends. I had a boyfriend who cared about me. My family backed off on their remarks and phrases. I was doing great in school and i was completely happy to a point where nothing was going wrong at all. I was on cloud nine. I liked it when I just let everything roll of my shoulders and have it not bother me, but now the bad thing is I don't why I exist? Why do i exist in a world where everyone seems to hate me? Why do I exist in a world where my sadness prevails over my happiness? Why do I exist in a world where i'm more confused and lost than anything else?
What I really want is for everything to work out and go back to normal. I just want to live a normal life without really any stress and any problems. I just want to be happy.
At this point in time I really don't know where i stand but I do know that I have to change. Change for the better. I also know that the only way i'm going to be happy is actually being with the person I love and trying to get everything back on the right route. I just want to go back to the days where I had no worries and I wasn't heartbroke. I just want to go a day without feeling like the world is against me. I just want to be who I am suppose to be. I WANT TO BE ME!

1 Feel the Love

Survey [24 Sep 2005|11:19pm]
I stole this from suzy...SORRY SUZY!

SEVEN THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:

1. Bed
2. 2 Dressers
3. Desk
4. T.V
5. Stuffed Talking Monkey
6. 2 Fans
7. Stereo

TOP SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY MOST:

1. What Ever
2. I'm Cold
3. Shiznits
4. Holy Jimmy Crickets
5. I'm sorry
6. OK
7. What the Fuck Nuts

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:

1. Monkeys
2. Computer
3. My Boyfriend
4. Friends
5. Food
6. My Car
7. My Dad

SEVEN THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. Go Bungee Jumping
2. Get Married
3. Go Visit different Places Around the World
4. Become a Corporate Lawyer
5. Visit the Top 10 Theme Parks
6. Have Kids
7. Give a large amount of money to Charity

SEVEN OTHER THINGS:

Do You:
1. Smoke? No
2. do drugs? No
3. Read the newspaper? Of Course I do...I'm a nerd like that *hehe*
4. Pray? Noppers
5. Have a job? I did have a job FRIKKIN BASTARDS!
6. Attend Church? No
7. Wish on stars? Yes all the time

Have you ever:

1. Gone skinny dipping? Nope
2. Had surgery? Nope...and I don't plan on it
3. Swam in the dark? Yes and was frikkin scared
4. Been to a Bonfire? Yes I have them at my house all the time
5. Ran away from home? Nope Thought about it but never did it
6. Gotten hit with a baseball bat? Yes..Damn does that hurt
7. Pulled an all nighter? Yes and I can't do it anymore...

SEVEN THINGS IN LAST 24 HOURS:

have you...
1. Cried? Nope
2. Sang? Yes I'm actually doing it as I fill this out
3. Been kissed? No....Except dog kisses but that doesn't count
4. Felt stupid? Nolol yup
6. Missed someone? Yes
7. Hugged someone? No :(...I want a hug
Feel the Love

[19 Aug 2005|10:03pm]

It's 100% Love and 0% Lust

You and your guy are truly in love, even if that spark seems to be a little dimmer.

Is It Lust or Love? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.




Your Celebrity Sisters Are Jessica and Ashlee


Beautiful, feminine, and stylish.
Who care's if you're a bit of a daddy's girl?



Who Are Your Celebrity Sisters? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.






You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.






What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?Your legs
What makes you pretty?Everything
What makes you loveable?How dorky you are
What makes you fun?Your sense of humor
What makes you irresistable?Your sweetness
What makes you cute?Cute? You? Hahaha.
Quiz created with MemeGen!



You Are a Sensitive Kisser


For you, kissing is a way to connect

And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy

It may take you a while to kiss someone...

But when you do, it's total fireworks


What's Your Kissing Style? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.






Men See You As Understated


You are an intreguing mix of girl and woman.
You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men.
Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you.
You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well

How Do Men See You? Take This Quiz :-)


Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.







You Are the Girl Next Door!


You're caring, warm, and the girl that nice guys want to marry.
Uncomplicated and simple, you've got an easy going attitude guys love.
But this doesn't mean you're dull - far from it!
You're a great conversationalist, and you're an expert at living the good life.




What Kind of Girl Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.







You'll Find Love Where You Least Expect It


You're the type most likely to find love... surprised?
You shouldn't be! You're a fun, independent woman who is always out and about.
And you're smart to sometimes leave your girlfriends behind and go it alone.
Men love to approach you when you're out by yourself - including Mr. Perfect!




Where Will You Find Love? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.



Feel the Love

[12 Aug 2005|11:25am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

I found the guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot, who calls me back when I hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to my heartbeat, or will stay awake just to make sure I'm ok...who kisses my forehead, who wants to show me off to the world when I'm in sweats, who holds my hand in front of his friends, who thinks I'm just as pretty without makeup on. He a guy who is constantly reminding me of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have me... and he's the guy who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"...


I'm soooo lucky I have that guy in my life...

Feel the Love

[10 Aug 2005|10:24pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I want a guy...who I can wrestle with and lets me win...who i can talk to about anything...who laughs at my jokes...who will let me put my hands in his pocket to keep them warm...who will let me use their sweatshirt for a pillow...who says I love you and means it...who will kiss me in the rain, the sunshine, and in the snow...who calls unexpectedly...who will have many inside jokes with me and remember each one...who realizes that I say things but don't always mean them...who will go swimming with me on hot days...who will tell me their problems and let me help...who will listen to me talk...who will let me beat them up when I get angry...who will say sweet things just to make me smile...who will buy small cute things just to give them to me...who save genuine big smiles for me..who gives me clothes to wear when something happens to mine and not expect to get them back...who knows my favorite color, song , car, vegetable, and perfume...who will call me by my full name...who will know when something is wrong when I'm trying my best to put on an act...who will kiss me and tell me that I'm beautiful...who will let me cry on their shoulder...who will hold me and kiss my cheek...who suprises me and compliments me and plays with my hair...who will brag about me to all of their friends...whos not afraid to give me a great big hug right infront of their mom...who smells like he just stepped out of the shower...who wears cologne that I can subtly smell when I'm leaning on his shoulder...who tells me I have and nice laugh a smile that lights up the room and who will just be simply mine to hold...


I know that I've finally found that guy....

1 Feel the Love

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